I ask myself
From where does this resistance come?
What beliefs do I hold
That deny myself
Of my natural joy filled state?
• Is it too simple
• Life’s not that easy
• That’s not being responsible
• You must take life seriously
• Be focused, logical & determined
• You must work hard & you will be rewarded
• You must be the best
• You must achieve your full potential
• You must make something of your life
• No time to waste
• Work work work
And so I did!

I think back …
To the carefree fun loving girl of 6
All smiles & pigtails
Where did she go?
Naivety pops into my head!!!
There are monsters out there!
They may take advantage of you!

To over simplify …
It seems somewhere
My joy filled, carefree, fun loving self
Shifted to  … fear based & consequences!
I grew up!
I became responsible!

Whatever prompted me
To make being adult & responsible vs
Joy filled & fun loving
Mutually exclusive?
For whatever reason …
I cemented that association
And it has taken many years to dismantle it
Not that it has to!
I chose to make it long & drawn out
I had many lessons to learn
And of course
I wanted to do it MY way!!!
And so I did!!

I think
In a way
It was my own form
Of discipline … of training
My very own personalised Masters degree!
So now …
I realise the truth …
I am
And can be
Joy filled at any moment!
Despite anything else …
I am doing
I am having
I am being
It is disrespect for self
If we do not honour
That within our ourselves
Part of our life spark
The human spirit
That flows thru us all
How can we deny that
Being Joy filled
Is our birth right!

I sense them
I see them
United as one
We search
We skip
To different tunes
All seeking the same
… Connection
… Understanding
… Purpose
… Belonging
… A love of life
… A love of self
… Unbroken love
As it truly is

The ego may flex
To test the bounds
But love flows freely
Unthwarted by you
Unthwarted by me
A mystic magic
So simple
So true
For we are made of love
It is the pulse
Within your veins
It is the life source
That all of us seek

Look no further
For every fibre within
Holds love as its nucleus
Deception may be at work
If you feel
… loveless
… heartless
… unworthy
… non deserving
For this is all a charade
Your true self
Knows its origins
Your true self
Knows its core

Don’t fear love
It doesn’t fear you
You deny yourself
Starve yourself
Barricade yourself
Not wanting
Or allowing love in
Do you think it’s weak?
Do you think it indulgent?
Or perhaps it’s a distraction
Straying you
From the many conquests
That awaits you

Your deception is calculated
It’s keeping you safe
So you think!
But that is your mind
Ruled by logic
Not heartfelt feelings
They are not whimsical
They are your truth
If you continue to deny
Your discontent will grow
Cause its calling you
Alerting you
To a greater self
Your loving self
That allows you to be
Soulful & free
No pretences
Just you
Beautiful you
As you are
Thru & thru!

All this was trickery
My spirit was never lost
It has been constant
Unchanging
Unwavering
It has taken me many years
To realise this

My mind has been the magician here
Leading me to believe a false truth
In cohorts with my ego
They have done an effective con job

Making me feel powerless
Lost & alone
But for all that
I have faced my fears
I have ridden the roller coaster baby!!!
I have survived!

And why wouldn’t I
I am spirit matter
I cannot die
I can only transform

Thru out my life
I have taken many forms
Some I liked
Some I detested
But none of them were the real me

Only physical forms
Like the clothes we wear
We can change them in a heartbeat
If truth be known
They do not define who they are
They do give us some form of self identity
This is not the true you

The essence of you
Is unaffected by what you say, think or do
It is independent of your symbols of success
It is timeless & spaceless
It is the space between your thoughts
The essence of you
Radiates
When you are present
With each moment
Not wanting for another
Future or past

The essence of you
Is love
It is light
It is the perpetual power
The human spirit
That spark within
That is never lost
Just hidden by your perceptions
See it now
Hear it now
Feel it now
Call it forth
It is your friend
It is your truth!

When we feel whole within ourselves
Have you noticed how connected you feel?
Walk down the street & you radiate
Resonating with all around you
Your surrounds feel like an extension of you
Aligned
Congruent within
You are connected with all
This is the true you!