Ramblings of a MadWoman » Free To Be Me

Happiness

Thu, 29 Mar 2012 23:57:50 +0000

I’ve sown the seeds of happiness within
No longer dependant on outside forms
For it is me who chooses to be happy or sad
Only in our powerless state
Do we pass this responsibility to others

Rebound

Wed, 29 Feb 2012 02:29:08 +0000

I want to bow my head
Hang it in shame
Of my thoughts
Broken & defeated
This is NOT who I am!

Each time
I knock myself down
Like that bouncing clown
I spring back
Stronger than before
More determined
More focused
I rise for me
And all that I can be!

New Life

Tue, 07 Dec 2010 23:14:17 +0000

She buries herself
Not wanting to be found
Lost forever
Where did she go?
So unexpected
Nobody knows
What took her away?
Why did she stray?
So far away
From all that she knew
Wandering
Pondering
Will we ever know?
Which way
She did go?
Hide as she might
Not without fight
She finally took flight
To find her true self
She needed space
A secure special place
So she could face
The deep disturbia
That lay within
For it had purpose
Of that she was sure
Her dark emotions
Were calling her
Wooing her
Compelled to listen
To her shadow life
It was all that resonated
It was there to speak
It was there to teach
To awaken her soul
Like the phoenix rising
There was purpose
To her suffering
She learnt to stand tall & strong
In her own vulnerability
Exposed for all to see
Untouched by judgement
Her own or others
She no longer feared the worst
She was finally free
Unbound
By the limitations of her mind
She steps back into the light
Reclaiming her power
Ready to take flight

Self Discovery

Thu, 13 May 2010 01:35:53 +0000

If joy filled being
Is our natural state
Why do we exert
So much effort & energy resisting?
Does it need to earned?
Like respect …
They say we must earn it!
But what if we naturally
Respect ourselves & others?
Why do we put conditions
On all that is around us?
Why do we put conditions
On all that abounds us?

So back to joy filled
Can it be that simple?
Were we born that way?
What’s the use of intelligence
If we don’t have to work it out?

So here’s my thought …
We come into this world
• joy filled
• loving unconditionally
• respected & respectful
To name a few …
Our egos & intelligence
Set us on a path of discovery
We embrace & take on
Everything we are not!
How else do we know thyself!
We need contrast to see
We need drama to feel
When we realise this …
Our journey takes a new direction
Rediscovering our natural essence
Our truth
The very thing we started with!
So perhaps …
This is our true purpose
To explore
What we are
And what we are not
How else can we know thyself?

Junk Thoughts

Mon, 15 Mar 2010 04:12:00 +0000

Junk thoughts
Fuel my mind
They take up space
My eyes they blind

I cannot see
They block my view
Perhaps I’ll sit
And chew & stew!

Of what has been
Our could have had
Perhaps I’ll stay
All mopey & sad!

Cause missing out
Has got me pissed
Full of regret
For opportunities missed!

They leave me scolding
My own self
Another blow
To health & wealth!

So shall I take
The garbage out?
Purge my mind
Of stubborn doubt

It’s time for me
To think anew
To change my stance
And outlook too

The choice is mine
To sink or swim
To move ahead
Is not a sin!

I’ve paid my dues
All debts repaid
A brand new path
I wish to pave

It’s time for me
My heart’s desire
Ignite the spark
And light the fire

For life awaits
For you & me
To be the best
That we can be!

Fear of Unknown

Mon, 30 Nov 2009 22:06:43 +0000

Today’s truth …
I have an unknown fear
Or so I thought!
But really
It’s a fear of the unknown.
How obvious is that!
Yet I refuse to see
Keeping myself blind
So that I would not
Move on

I love surprises
I love the sense of discovery
I love new experiences
So why this fear of unknown?
Will I feel unprepared?
Possibly
Will I feel silly or foolish?
Possibly
Perhaps I’ll be surprised & delighted
I’ll never never know
Till I give it a go!

So why the fear of unknown?
Do I use it as an excuse?
Yes
For what?
Stalling
For what?
To improve my preparedness
Isn’t that just self conscious crap?
Yes yes yes
So what’s so bad about being unprepared?
I make a mistake …
Big deal!
You undo it …
Or back track …
Or do it again!
Perhaps I’ll loose face
And as an expert
That may affect my credibility!
But that may only be my perception
Cause in actuality …
I am demonstrating courage …
Courage to fall down … then get up!
Perhaps even a thousand times.
Innovators & pioneers of past
Have done exactly that!

Think back to a child
Learning to walk …
Fall down
Get up
Fall down
Get up
Wobble a few steps
Plonk!
On your bott
Grinning from ear to ear
Giggly & proud
For taking those few steps
So perhaps I am
Just learning to walk & talk
A new chapter of my life
Where is the fear in that!

Rest Easy

Sun, 22 Nov 2009 21:16:07 +0000

Tired now
I think I’ll rest
No longer
Am I at my best!
I’ve given all
I have to give
No moments
Must I now relive!
For I am happy
With what I’ve done
I’ve opened minds
And had some fun!

Your Divine Perfection

Mon, 10 Aug 2009 06:33:39 +0000

I love this space
It’s home to me
Centered with an open heart
I can view the world
My life, my work, my family, my friends
Everything as it should be
The realisation of who I am
Is far more important than who I could be

I love the person I am
Now that’s a transformation!!!
Certainly not a perfect specimen
By society standards
But perfect for me!

I embrace the many facets of me
That gives me character, grace & beauty
Like a rough cut gem
My essence shines thru for all to see
So many angles to reflect the light
So much depth & beauty to get lost in
So hardy & strong

I weather the elements
Mother natures scars
Adding intrigue & character
I am shaped
I am molded
By my time on this earth
I am magnificent in my current state
No need to change who I be
I am perfect in this form!

If only you could see
You have that too!!!
You don’t have to search & seek
It is there before you
Open your eyes
Remove the beliefs that blinker you
See it … or even better … sense it
I know you do
Go on … close your eyes & sense it
You know its there

How long can you continue
To deny your own divine perfection
Feel it
It comes from within
Everything you need
Is within you now
So embrace it all
Allow the magic to flow
You heal & grow
From the insight out!

The Essence Of Me

Mon, 10 Aug 2009 06:26:31 +0000

You showed your face today
Quite unexpectantly
That’s why you had such a profound effect on me
You were welcoming
Full of warmth
And invitation
So shall we dance?
This dance they call life
I feel like I am ready now
To embrace all that you have to offer
To allow myself to shine
To live & love unconditionally
Can I have that 24 * 7?
Not sure how!
I know I will place many conditions upon myself & others
But I know in my heart this is the real me
Vibrant … retiring
Bold …. vulnerable
Sharing … possessive
Protective … free flowing
I am all of these
But I have my own unique blend!
We are same in essence
Different in expression
The essence of Jen
Sometimes heady & over powering
Other times just a subtle scent
Invigorating & yet calming & balancing
Like any true essence
I differ from person to person!
And that is my magic
Like a chameleon
I can change my form
I can blend to my surroundings
Or I can stand out
Exposed for all to see
Strong … identifiable
Unique & individual
In my own way
In my own expression
Thank you soul
For sharing this with me!

Words

Mon, 10 Aug 2009 06:12:52 +0000

The power of a word
To invoke such meaning
To touch your heart
To open your eyes
To the beauty within
It helps me to see me
It helps me to feel me
It helps me to express me

Words alone are not the source
The meaning they portray
Comes from within you
Comes from within me
Together we convey meaning & resonance
True communication
A mutual exchange
Me … with my intent
You … with your construct
We place meaning upon & within

No matter if they are different
For words are here to invoke a truth
Insight & understanding
Our truths may be different
No matter
This is what makes us unique

I don’t need to force my truth upon you
Or you on me
We are merely here to reflect each others truth
So that we can see it for what it is
Be grateful for these gifts of insight
For they are precious gems
Guiding our path

To understand you
To understand me
To understand all that will be
For only in knowing yourself
Can you love & appreciate
Who you are now
Not … who you want to be